Chicagoans are facing an overwhelming number of choices as they head to the ballot box to cast their vote for ... snowplow names.
The Department of Streets and Sanitation narrowed the flurry of contest submissions to 50 finalists. The top six vote-getters will be assigned to a plow in each of the city’s snow districts. Online voting is open to Chicago residents through Jan. 31.
Prepare to shovel through an avalanche of Cubs and Bears references — Ernie Snowbanks, Salter Payton and Da Plow, among others — as well as Windy City pop culture touchstones like Ferris Blizzard’s Day Off and Chance the Scraper.
Shout out to whoever came up with Ludwig Mies van der Plow — unlike Sears Plower, that was an architecture nod we did not see coming. We’re almost embarrassed to admit how long it took us to get that PATROL-SALT-DeSLEET was a play on control-alt-delete.
Based on the amount of action plows have seen so far this winter, which is running 10 inches below normal in snowfall, might we suggest a write-in candidate: Not In Use.