Movies like He's Just Not That Into You may help love-seekers brace themselves for rejection. But how are singles supposed to find their match? Author Harlan Cohen joins us on Chicago Tonight at 7:00 pm to share his secrets on the topic and discuss his new book: Getting Naked.
Learn more about the book in the video below.
Read an excerpt from the book below.
Getting Naked by Harlan Cohen
I had to write this book. Not writing it would have been extremely selfish. It would have been like knowing the world’s greatest secret and keeping it all to myself. And that’s just very wrong. I’m not selfish.
I’m so relieved to share this with you. For over 15 years, people have been sharing their deepest darkest secrets with me. And for years, I’ve personally benefitted from it. I’ve heard from countless men and women unable to find love (like me). Knowing that all of those single and searching women were out looking for a man like me gave me hope and reminded me that I lived in a world of endless options. I’ve heard from countless men and women who are too afraid to approach someone because they don’t want to look desperate or creepy. This has helped me realize that most men don’t have the testicles to talk to women or men they want and most women don’t have the ovaries to do it either. Therefore, all I needed to do was find my testicles and I’d be the exception. I’ve heard from countless couples in unhappy, unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships. Hearing what’s gone wrong has helped me to realize how to avoid making the same mistakes in my own relationships. Whether it’s a man looking for a woman, a women looking for a man, a man looking for a man, or a woman looking for a woman, there’s a common thread that ties us all together. So you can see, everyone else’s problems literally helped me to find the courage and confidence to be honest with myself and take the risks needed to find the love of my life. Now it’s your turn.
The five steps in this book unfolded over a lifetime of personal and professional relationship research spanning over 30 years. It was only as a single and searching twenty-something man living in Chicago that I spotted trends, patterns, and an undeniable secret truth at the root of it all. Unlike Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City, a lot of my time was spent having a lot of no sex in the city. I just wanted to find a girl who could love me as much as I loved her.
The answers started to surface when I began writing my Help Me, Harlan! advice column in my college newspaper. A year and half after launching the column, I was reaching millions of readers in dozens of local daily and college newspapers, including The New York Daily News where I shared a page with Ann Landers. People would reveal their darkest secrets and most perverted problems (my favorites). I’d reach out to experts to help research and shape my answers and ensure that I was being responsible, thoughtful, and not completely full of bullshit. After years of in-depth research, thousands of letters answered, and a personal dating experiment during which I put into practice what I’d observed – I found the love of my life and the answer to the questions everyone has been asking me for the past 20 years. This book is the answer…